Palliative care

Something that is very sad to think about is palliative care, or end of life care. There is wide research to show that hearing is the last sense to be lost when someone is dying. This is the reason calming music is often played in the rooms of people who are at the end of their life. Sitting at someone’s bed side as they pass away can be extremely difficult to do, some people find comfort in it, others people don’t.

I cared for a resident who had no family at all, and no friends because she had out lived them all. We had a very strong bond, maybe because she had nobody else in the world apart from her carers. She was extremely important to me. For the majority of the time that she was in my care she was fighting fit, as fighting fit as an elderly lady can be anyway. She overcame a broken hip and several chest infections. As time went on and her dementia progressed she became more aggressive towards her carers and on many occasions I was the only one who could successfully get her dressed or the only person she would speak to. We had a bond I’ve probably never experienced before with a resident and I think this was because she had no family, she was aware other residents had visitors and she did not. As I was a senior carer I often had extra paperwork to do and I would pop in on a day off for an hour or two to finish it. As my lady had told me it made her so sad to not have visitors, I thought I would visit her when I was there on my day off, and see how she reacted to me when I wasn’t in uniform. She recognised me instantly, but she obviously couldn’t quite place me and she decided I was her dear friend from school, she had all the other carers running round with trays of tea and biscuits for us, and she told me how desperately grateful she was to have had a visitor. From then on I went to see her every time I was there on a day off, and then when I was next in work in my uniform she’d tell me how her friend had visited her and how happy she was.

Although she was in the late stages of dementia she had a lot of awareness about certain things. She asked me numerous times to be with her when it was time for her to pass away, as she feared that she would be alone, and how could I say no? I made sure that I would be telephoned if I was off duty when the time came, I wasn’t doing it simply to fulfil her wishes, but because I wanted to have those last moments with her. The telephone call came and within half an hour I was at her bed side. I had seen people pass away before, but they had always had family members with them, it was strange in a way to be the only person with her and for a moment I wasn’t sure what to do. She had always told me she thought I should be a nurse and, to be honest, she was a huge part of my motivation when applying for university. So I sat down, held her hand and told her I’d found out a few days before that I’d been accepted onto a nursing course. Her eyes were closed, she was perfectly still, her breaths were irregular and shallow, but I know she could hear me. I thanked her for always telling me to follow my dream and promised I’d make her proud. About twenty minutes after I arrived she passed away. I am sure in my heart she waited for me to get there, as I’d promised her I would. I am also sure she could hear me and I hope my voice gave her comfort at the end of her life.